Love -- The Truth and the Myth

 Romans 13:8-10

Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.  For this, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, YOU SHALL NOT MURDER, YOU SHALL NOT STEAL, YOU SHALL NOT COVET," and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."  Love does no wrong to a neighbor; love therefore is the fulfillment of the law.

Sermon for the Fourth Sunday after Epiphany                                      02/02/25

Love -- The Truth and the Myth

My Brothers and Sisters in Christ:

There is a myth that is common in our time.  It is the myth called "love."  It is one of our most popular and enduring myths.  We sing about it.  We have poems about it.  We have little morality plays about it, and big movies about it.  We talk about it all of the time, and everybody wants to have it, or be in it, or have someone else have it for them.  And it seems that almost no one has any idea what it really is.

Well, our text this morning speaks about love.  It is not everything that can be said about love -- the Bible has a great deal more to say on the topic.  But since our text opens the topic up, this seems to be a good time to talk about it.  So, this morning we will look at the truth and the myth about love.

The first myth is that love is an emotion.   The truth is that love is an action, a behavior.  Country music singer Clint Black captured the sense of it well in his son, "It's Something that You Do."  He talks about how love isn't somewhere we fall, or something that we have, or something that we are in, it is something that we do.  Our text takes that approach when it talks about the Law, and how we fulfill it by love.

Love is fulfilled by how we deal with our neighbor.  Paul defines it negatively – "Love does no wrong to a neighbor," but it can be defined positively as well.  Love is doing for the neighbor what the neighbor needs, and (when it is also to their good) what the neighbor desires be done.  Love can be cleaning a room, or it can be doing your chores.  Love can be scratching someone's back or speaking a kind word when a person is down.  An emotion stays locked up inside of you.  Love shows and love acts.  I would be a fool if I did not acknowledge that there is often an emotional component to love, but love is so much more than mere emotion.

Another myth is that love is how you feel.  What horrible things have been done by someone who felt something they called "love."  It is almost too large a topic to consider.  People will treat others with disrespect, with hostility, with violence and then call it love – they will say, "I love . . ."  It is certain that they are feeling something, but the behaviors do not reflect love because they are not for the well-being of the beloved.  The Mills Brothers sang about this kind of "love" in their song, "You Always Hurt the One You Love, the One You Wouldn't Hurt At All."  The truth is, however, that you would not normally hurt the one you love.  You would rather suffer loss or pain for yourself, and protect the one you love.  That is what love is about.

The other side of this perversion of love is the person who cannot correct or discipline the one they claim to love.  They cannot bear to see their beloved suffer the discomforts of discipline.  The problem with such love is that it is self-absorbed.  It only cares about what the one who claims to love feels.  There are disquieting and uncomfortable experiences that are good for us, and which we sometimes need to endure to remain healthy or holy.  Whatever the feeling may be that shields someone from such important experiences, it is not love.

Everyone recognizes, for example, that the undisciplined child has not been helped by the parent's lack of discipline.  Neither is it love that permits someone to not do the things that will strengthen them simply because the beloved doesn't wish it.  Exercise is painful and difficult, at times, but without it, you cannot be healthy.  Memory work is never popular with children, but without it, the child is poorly equipped – and fails to learn a skill – the skill of memorizing – which is so important in so many places in our lives.  Love is not how you feel, or feeling good.  Sometimes the Everly Brothers were right – love hurts.

The third myth is that love is communicated with words.  Again, there is some truth here – words of love are a component of the process of communicating love – but not a necessary component.  You can communicate love by simple, silent acceptance.  My parents did not talk a great deal about loving us.  They simply spent time with us.  They demanded the best from us and praised us when we gave it our best.  They expended that little bit of extra effort freely for us at times so that we could see or do things they felt were important for us.  We didn't need a lot of love talk – we had love at work – and I never was confused about my parent's love for me, even when I didn't like their particular actions or attitudes now and then.

On the other hand I have seen people say "I love you," and then humiliate their "beloved", or deliberately fail to take them into account in their time or their decision-making.  Movies have been made about the rich kid who lives at the boarding school and has every luxury and privilege one could dream of, but has none of the time or attention of the parents.  The clear message is that simply saying the words of love is not enough.  A husband or a wife that simply says it, but doesn't take time to act out love, will say one thing, and communicate something else entirely.  Love is not communicated with words alone – it is communicated by actions – consistent, regular action.

Yet another myth is that love makes all things permissible.  People commit adultery for the sake of love.  They steal and lie for the sake of love.  As long as it is done for love, it is okay, or so the myth says.  But our text reminds us that love is doing what is right, not simply what is desirable or pleasant.  Love is the fulfilling of the Law.  In the Old Testament, the love of the people for their God was measured by how well and faithfully they adhered to His Law.  They did the things of the Law as a way of showing God their trust in Him.  It is not so much different today.  We discipline our flesh for Christ's sake because we are His people, and in thanksgiving for what He has given to us and won for us.  We don't do it to become holy, we do it because He has made us holy already and adopted us into His family and called us by name and made us His own.

Our love for God, and His love for us, makes many things impermissible.  We cannot ignore Him.  We cannot worship another God.  We cannot do what He has taught us is contrary to His will.  We cannot believe whatever we wish, but His love compels us to listen to His Word and believe what He teaches us.

The final myth for this morning is that love is overpowering.  It is a popular idea that love puts one out of control.  "I couldn't help myself," is what they say.  "I just had to do it . . .".  But true love is completely within our control.  True love is intelligent and thinking.  It is self-possessed and self-disciplined.  True love has the beloved in mind and the welfare of the beloved at heart.  True love sees clearly and understands.  And true love gives of itself, risking itself, not taking but giving and enriching the beloved.

How do I know?  I study the greatest example of love that I can find.  Jesus said that "A greater love has no man, than he lay down his life for a friend."  He demonstrated His love for us by dying for us and in our place, on the cross.  His love was intelligent.  He saw what we have done to ourselves in sin.  The wages of sin is death, and we all sinned.  There is not a righteous man on earth who does only good and who never sins.  We Christians have a further Law – that we love one another.  Jesus said, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

But even in the church, we don't always see that love, do we?  There are cliques.  Some people hold grudges against others and avoid certain others.  We take our shots at one another, and hurt one another.  We politic in our assemblies, and grumble and gossip against and about one another.  We often care more about what we prefer than about the welfare of the brother or sister in Christ.  And in such lack of love, we make ourselves all the more sinful, all that much less lovable, all that much more worthy of death.

And hell.  But Jesus died for us.  He saw our need, and our helplessness, and so He planned how He might save us.  The plan was to do the impossible.  He would carry out His judgment of death and destruction on the sinner, and yet save the sinner alive.  To do that He came to earth as one of us, born human and responsible to be holy before God just as we are.  He kept the whole Law of God for us.  He kept it perfectly and earned eternal life.  Then He died.

He died for us.  He deserved no death of His own, he had to take our death to die.  He carried the guilt of our sins and endured the wrath of God against us, so that He could forgive us, and give us the eternal life He earned.  He not only planned this rescue, but His love drove Him to do it, to put the plan into action, even at great personal cost and suffering.  His love was not just a word, it was how He dealt with us and still deals with us.  He created us.  He feeds us.  He cares for our well-being day by day.  He died so that we might escape the wrath which we have earned, because we simply could not bear it, it would destroy us.  Then He declared His love so that he that believes and is baptized shall be saved.

He did love, and He does love.  He loves by maintaining His church among you, that you might believe and be saved.  He does love by laying this Holy Supper before us so often, for you to eat and to drink and to find strength and comfort in it.  He loves by forgiving you your sins, sins you have committed even though you have seen His love and tasted His goodness.  He still forgives, and He still loves, and He still feeds, and He still clothes, and He still blesses, and He still preaches, and He still places you and your life and your salvation and your blessing first.  He causes all things to work together for good for you – for those who love God.  That is His love.

Is it an emotion?  Surely, but not as we conceive of them.  Is His love a feeling?  No.  God doesn't have feelings like we have feelings – He has not revealed any such anyhow.  Is His love communicated by words?  Yes, as surely as I preach.  But we know His love in what He does and has done, not merely what He says.  Does the love of God make all things permissible?   No, It makes all things possible.  God doesn't have love for us, He is love, perfect love.  It is in considering God and His dealings with us and on our behalf that we find the meaning of love itself.

There are many myths about love – and just one profound truth.  God is love.  And if we love Him, He instructs us to love one another.  That is the sign that we are His disciples.  And when we want to know what love looks like, from one to another, we look to God's law,   For this, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, YOU SHALL NOT MURDER, YOU SHALL NOT STEAL, YOU SHALL NOT COVET," and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."  Love does no wrong to a neighbor; love therefore is the fulfillment of the law.  And that is the truth, as opposed to the many myths, about love.

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.

(Let the people say Amen)